Unfortunately, It is Very Unfortunate. (@#!?*!)

It's pretty hard to recreate the blog that I did last Monday when I lost my laptop to yet another robbery. It's amazing how more and more people are losing their souls everyday. Just to give you an update, I was actually hanging out at my regular coffee shop in Boni Ave, Bean Perk when all of a sudden out of nowhere some a-hole grabbed my laptop from right under my nose quite literally. I was in complete and utter shock. I just couldn't fathom the idea of being robbed while having coffee, a smoke and typing -- the three favorite things that I often do. It's been two days but every now and then the entire unfortunate event flashes before my eyes like a recurring nightmare. And to add insult to injury, the Area Manager there Camille Mendiolla, seemed to be hiding something. I was asking for the name of the owner to file a formal complaint but this Camille person kept saying I should the address the complaint to her. And so, I will. But if anyone of you guys know the owner of the Bean Perk Coffee Shop in Boni Avenue, do let me know so I may share my frustration on their lack of security there. Anyhooo....

It got me thinking how many soul-less demons are running around the streets of Manila. Has the effects of this economic regression really affected everyone? It's unheard of, stealing a laptop right under your nose. I've heard of cellphones, cameras, bags, jewelry, but laptop? While you're typing? At a coffee shop? Unbelievable! Nowhere is safe! While the dirty politicians remain ever so dirty, the streets of Manila are exploding with crime. When I filed to the incident to the Mandaluyong City Hall Police Station, they showed me a bunch of mug-shots. Hoping that I would identify the culprit, I looked for hours at those pictures. To my surprise some were actually working, or at least formally working as police officers. The people who were suppose to be protecting us are now doing the crime. It was then when I realized that this country was really going to the dogs. Apparently after serving the force, it was time to join the other side. The bad side. Not to mention that most of those thieves, robbers, etc, were already back on the streets doing the same thing. What an efficient justice system we have don't you think?! (For those who didn't get it, there was a hint of sarcasm there!)

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to identify the thief who stole my laptop, and oh, did I mention it was an Apple laptop. The faces lingered on my mind for a couple of hours even after I've gone home. I was thinking that while I was looking at the pictures, they all looked the same. Does all soul-less people look the same? I'm not kidding, they really looked similar. Perhaps it was their grin, their smirk, their eyes, or something --- but there was definitely something. Eerie, right?

Actually when I was doing that blog article, I was channeling a very happy emotion. How ironic right? Just when I was writing about how happy I am now, this happens. It got me into thinking if the Lord was trying to tell me something. Maybe it's His way of saying I'm forgetting and this was a way for Him to remind me. I was never religious but I was never sacrilegious and blasphemous neither; and my friends would attest to that. I respect religion, I just don't practice one. I believe in a God, I just never believed that I should go to mass to be closer to him. But yes, I do forget to pray. I'm guilty of being one of those people who calls to Him only on times of despair.

My bestfriend told me that I should break this pattern. There was something I was doing wrong to attract those negative elements to my life. And even though I found it hard to believe, a part of me wanted to. It's not easy being happy when you're bombarded with so many negative things that puts you down.

If only life were a little kinder, a little more considerate, a little more understanding, a little easier. If only we live in a perfect world, where everyone loved one another, where peace ruled mankind, where there's no rich or poor, only good and no bad.

But it isn't... and so we move on just as life often does.

Still, it feels damn shitty!

Love letters and idealisms by Noel Abelardo

My Newest Banner

Long overdue to create an online portfolio. Created this banner for that purpose. Tell me what you think ok?

Love letters and idealisms by Noel Abelardo

Finding Leon

Another month, another hour, another moment when you see your life passes you by while all the rest moves to a slow but steady pace.

He woke up and realized that he didn’t dream. It was real after all. It went by and he didn’t even notice. He was too busy. He started making excuses to make himself feel better. There wasn’t anything left to do. It had already gone. He missed it and no matter how he thought of chasing after it, it can no longer be seen.

And so, he sat and waited for that door to open. He watched as shadows from outside moved about. He heard voices, undecipherable murmurs of people talking but still he did not stand up. He continued to watch the shadows moving and imagined them dancing. He pretended there was music and he began singing. No one could hear him so he sang louder. He sang until there wasn’t anything else to sing. It was 2 o’clock in the morning and he had forgotten about it. He sang because there was no one. He sang because he preferred that over crying. It didn’t come. Perhaps it had forgotten about him too.

He gazed outside and watched as the sun was rising. It felt warm and it reminded him of how that same warmth was what he yearned for. He wanted to say the words but the words didn’t come. He ran outside and chased the sunlight forgetting his sandals. He ran barefoot and felt that the grass was still wet from the rain the previous night. He ran in circles enjoying the cold morning and the warm sun hitting his face. He was happy – happier but he wanted more. He wanted to share his happiness to another; that one person to make the entire wait seem worth it. The one person to say it was alright to be himself. He was loved anyway.


He wanted to find him and say "Hi!"


Love letters and idealisms by Noel Abelardo

Updates on VCon09

I've been so darn busy these past few days that I have not been able to update any of my social networking sites properly.

FACEBOOK = Trying to upload pictures but for some FREAKIN' reason, I could not! Shoutout works though. UHUH!

Friendster = Haven't uploaded or done anything on this for about 6 months already. Passe` much! HAHAHA!

Multiply = Also couldn't upload photos which I took from our event. Over 2500 of them as of today.

Twitter = Hmmm...

Well, I'll post something soon.

Good thing about me being here though. FANS, lotsa fans! HAHAHA!

Love letters and idealisms by Noel Abelardo

Yosi, Wine at Mata sa Bintana.

***Isang liham sa may akda.***
**Note: PG recommended. LOL!

Hindi ko lubusang maisip kung baket napakatindi ng kamandag ng kanyang petchay. Parang tila may nakabalot na misteryo ito at lahat ng nakakatikim ay sadyang nahuhumaling.

Eto ang kwento ng kung paano ang isang ordinaryong gabi na sa ‘di inaakalang pangyayari binago ang aking buhay bakla.

Ako ay isang bakla. Bata pa lamang ako ay napapansin na ng aking mga kamag-anak, kapit-bahay, at ibang pang taong nakakasalamuha ang aking kakaibang kilos. Malamya daw ako para sa isang batang lalaki. Mahinhin daw at mahilig makipaglaro sa mga babae. Noon, sa aking buong pagaakala wala akong ginagawang masama. Eh ano ngayon kung mahilig akong makipaglaro sa mga babae. Eh ano kung mas magaling ako sa volleyball kaysa sa basketball. Eh ano kung ang paborito naming laro ay 10-20, Chinese garter, limbo rock, si Nena (ayy bata pa… kaya’t ang sabi nya uhmmm-ahhh-uhhhmmm-ahh-ahh!) at shake-shake-shampoo. Para sa akin wala akong ginagawang masama. Naglalaro lang. Walang malisya.

Pero di naglaon at sa aking pagtanda unti-unting nagbago ang aking pananaw sa aking noon pa ma’y kaduda-dudang ng pagkalalaki. Habang unti-unti kong natutuhan ang mga kamunduhan ng laman doon ko din napagtanto na ako nga ay isang binabae. Ngunit kailanman hindi ko ninais na maging babae. Nagkakagusto, umiibig, at nalilibugan lang ako sa kapwa lalaki. Yun lang.

Matagal-tagal na din akong umamin sa aking mga magulang sa aking piniling daan at sa kabutihang palad, tanggap naman nila ako. Pero sa kasukdulan ng aking kabaklaan may mga ilang paninindigan pa din akong sinusunod.
1. Huwag na huwag magbabayad ng lalaki para sa libog lamang
2. Huwag umibig sa tunay na lalaki
3. Huwag ng umasa na magkakaroon ng teknolohiya baling araw para gawin tayong mga bakla na tunay na babae --- matres at kung ano-ano pa.
4. Ipaglaban ang karapatang kabadingan --- di naman ako aktibista, di lang nagpapaabuso.

At madami pang iba. Nakakatamad na lamang ilista.

Pero sa mga alituntunin kong ito may isa pa aking hindi nagagwa… pumasok sa isang “gay bar” (hindi club), manood ng mga lalaking hubad na nagsasayaw at manood ng torohan kung meron man. Ngunit sa gabing iyon naranasan ko ang pangyayaring nagpabago ng aking buhay.

-0-

Para siyang kuneho kung umariba. Buong akala ko ay magigiba ang kama. Pinapanood ko lamang sila sa bintana habang nagyoyosi, umiinom ng wine at may kausap sa telepono doon sa may veranda.

Parang mga hayup. Dumadagungdong na parang kinakatay na baboy ang kanilang mga halinghing. Kung makapagsasalita lamang ang mga ding-ding, pader at muwebles ng kanyang maliit na apartment marahil maloloka ka din sa mga ikukuwento nito. Kung ano-anong kahalayan. Ibang klase.

Nakakalat ang kanilang mga saplot. Isang oras. Walang tigil ang sarap. Walang humpay ang pagnanasang magiba ang kama. Iba-Ibang pwesto. Parang pa-sirko-sirko. Para akong nanonood ng perya. Minsan asa itaas ang paa, minsan asa sahig ang ulo. Palakas ng palakas ang mga hiyaw. Ibang klase. Kakaonti na lang at muntik na akong sumugod sa loob para makatikim.

Matapos ang palabas parang walang nangyaro. Balik lahat sa dati. Balik inuman. Balik kwentuhan. Casual lang.

“Ang laki-laki!”
“Halika! Hawakan mo.”
“Ayaw ko nga!!!”
“Dali na, ok lang yan sa kanya.”

Kinuha niya ang aking kamay at pinahawak. “Hindi pa man ito galit, wika nya.” Sabay isang malakas na sigaw.

Umuwi akong tulala. Hindi pa din makapaniwala. Binago nila ang buhay ko. Ibang klase.

Disclaimer: Story is purely fictional ---- OR IS IT?! =D
Love letters and idealisms by Noel Abelardo

Attack of the Mush: On Loneliness

It’s been a long time. A really, really long time since I’ve felt that jolt of excitement upon meeting that single person whom you know will change your life. And no matter how hard you try to mask the loneliness that envelopes your being, it does show.

Yes, I feel lonely.

For about three years now, I’ve been into places that most people cannot even pronounce. I’ve met people whose names seem peculiar and to a certain extent even laughable. I’ve worked my ass off for a company that I love primarily because of my bosses and some people whom I genuinely want to help. I’ve done so many things, bought so many material wants, and played (errr, not at my proudest moment) with feelings of emotions and love.

And yes, I still feel lonely.

Not many would and can own up to the fact that you are lonely. Most would just pretend. And others simply ignore their loneliness and/or drown themselves into nonsense activities to fill the void that they are truly feeling. While very few called “the lucky ones” feel perfectly content. But not to be misled, at some point in their lives they too felt lonely. But when fate turned and smiled on them, they felt lonely no more. Like I said, lucky.

Recently, I’ve been meeting a lot of interesting guys -- the point of interest being that they’re in a relationship for years with their partner. And the best part is they find me interesting too. Am I destined to such relationships? Meeting people who are committed and I, as you may have already guessed become the… “If only.”

If only we met earlier.
If only I met you 6, 5, 3 years earlier.
If only I wasn’t committed… (I’d be with you!)
If only I were single.
If only I didn’t love my partner so much.
If only I weren’t in a rocky relationship that I’m still fighting to work out.
If only you’re willing to be my Number 2.

That’s the thing, I don’t feel and deserve like being number 2. I still believe I’m destined to be someone’s number 1 – wanted to say THE ONLY ONE but that seems asking for too much nowadays. It’s unfair to be even asked of such, don’t you think? To be the panakip-butas because there’s something you (I) could give that the other person either can’t or won’t.

-0-
I remember the time when he used to sing me love songs.
When we talked all night and laughed on stories of life.
I remember the time when he couldn’t wait to see me,
when he couldn’t even bare to leave because I mattered.
I remember when we used to talk about forever.
When goodnight meant more than it did,
But I love you.
When good morning meant,
Thank you
For being part of my life.
-0-

In case you failed to notice, I am lonely but not entirely unhappy. I just want to share a life, my life with someone other than friends and family. It’s different, I’m sure you know, when somebody cares, somebody who gives a damn.

It’s been a really long time. I’ve nearly forgotten. If only there were someone to remind me, someone who remembers that I like most people simply wants to feel important. Someone you will take the mask off for not because he wants to but because he deserves to see the real you…

Happy.


Love letters and idealisms by Noel Abelardo

Paper Cuts

"Busy Bee 8 by Noel Abelardo"
Looking back at all my previous relationships always bring a little nostalgia to me. It’s like opening a box of trinkets you saved from years back and every little thing on that box brings back memories. But then after looking at so many pieces you seem to forget how some of them got there in the first place. You wonder why you even kept it and what sentimental value it had. Simply put, there are some things or some people that YOU just forget and others that no matter how hard you try, will linger forever in your mind.

And then you ponder on things. Trying to recall every little bit of information. A surge of happy memories come pouring in and then only after a few moments, you remember why you broke up. You back track a bit and try to scrutinize every minute detail of the relationship trying as hard as you can to remember what the heck went wrong. And then, BAM! You get hit by a BUS! (Kidding!) Similarly though, it’s that same impact when you realize that regardless of how careful you were in making the relationship work, there are some things that’s just not meant to be…. FATE as they aptly call it.

I’ve been blogging mostly about love and relationships, break-ups and heartaches and stories of a happy ever after just because it’s the topic I know best. Not saying I’m an expert but I only wish to share my thoughts on the matter most of the time. I did after all, receive a few messages from other readers saying that to a certain level they could relate. I guess eventhough, we fall in and out of love with different people the feeling is always still the same.

My friend said breaking up with someone is the ugliest feeling in the world. It’s when you feel you’ve been abandoned and left to wallow in your misery. It’s like your heart has been ripped right out from your chest and you can’t breathe. It’s as if you’ve been kicked in the stomach and you can’t stand up. It’s like paper cuts, even the smallest one hurts like hell. It just SUCKS! And there are two things you could do about it, succumb to the feeling or learn and move on.

I realized that in my 18 months of singlehood I gained experience---experience that taught me in some level to be fearful to get my heart broken again. What was once magical suddenly turns into a fear that you’re again giving the power for someone to break you into a million pieces. What was once spontaneity turns into paranoia that you are allowing yourself to be vulnerable. And while I really do miss being in a relationship and even to a certain extent believe that I’m ready, I am (in all honesty) scared.

I am scared that the person I’m looking for no longer exists. And the harder you look the more elusive it gets. And when you don’t look, it simply passes you by.


Love letters and idealisms by Noel Abelardo

My Picture of Mr. Fu in Manila Bulletin

Who would have thought, just a simple picture would bring me some kind of exposure. Thanks Jeffery!!! Dahil jan, clozzzze na clooozze na tayohhh!
Love letters and idealisms by Noel Abelardo

Scout Fool's Day

For ya'll Flickr Fans, you know what this is about...

Still, it looks DARN COOL! Happy April Fools.



Love letters and idealisms by Noel Abelardo

Until He Cometh

He sat there waiting
For the right moment to come.
He wondered if the sun didn't shine as
brightly today as it did before.
It just seemed a little darker.

He stared at the door
Thinking if by looking it'll open.
He counted the time,
first by hours,
then by minutes.
Seconds came and went, longer the the first
and still he waited.

And then Alas!
He rose as quickly as he could
But he was slow.
His burden was just too heavy.

He looked at him with distant eyes,
with a cold stare,
and an empty face.
There was no one but
a figure of a man from the past.
A past he tried too hard to forget.

It was dark.
He sat back down
And then he waited.
Patiently,
Once more
Until he comes.

"Wither"

Thank God It's Saturday

What Day of the Week Are You?

You Are Saturday
Like this day of the week, you are ruled by Saturn.
More than anything, you are down to earth.

You are practical and wise. You take care of yourself before all others.
Sometimes you tend to be a bit suspicious. You are protective of what you have.

While some people see Saturday as a day of leisure, you see it as a day to get things done.
You always look forward to your productive Saturdays. You wouldn't have them any other way!

Noel EnRouge(d)

Taken by our friend Clyde Manzano. Visit his site at www.clydemanzano.multiply.com

Here's me in RED. Ain't it just grand? =D



Love letters and idealisms by Noel Abelardo

Bodies

It was dark and cold.
Their bodies entwined
Locked in tight embrace
That beads of sweat ran down their backs.
There were no words
Only cries and distant
Murmurs of throbbing pulse.
The ground rough
But it didn't matter,
It didn't hurt anyone.
Faces were intense
Seemingly lost in a crowd of passion.

One had rock-hard body
But skin smooth like silk.

The other charming,
Whose smile made you forget
The crazy night.

Another, bald, tan and with dimples
That was just pleasant.

An athlete. Young, fresh
And a physique that could rival any statue.

One looked like the other
Just a notch better.

Just one was married
But could never committed.

The other a star,
A dream come true.

And then there was I,
Just dreaming that just for this
Dark and cold night,
I could be her

On (Re)Defining Relationships

Interesting conversation with V.

Last night after winning our badminton game (GO GREEN GECKOS!), V and I decided to hang out for a few drinks and munch on something at a near-by bar.

We started talking about relationships, mine, hers, and of those we know. Somehow, we were able to analyze why the world is full of screwed up relationships and while others, lucky as they are find their happy endings.

Types of Interpersonal Relationships

1. Friendship - simply put, it's when two or more people are in a supportive and co-operative relationship. That and only that. Many deep relationships start from friendship. While it does work for some, it's not necessary or integral for others. I personally believe that 'lover-type' relationships that stem from friendships is just complicated. Especially if you've been friends for a long time. I still prefer the magic on the first meeting but that's just me.

2. Family - by birth, by blood, or marriage, or even legally by adoption or something like that.

3. Professional - people you work with or have some dealing with in a professional sense. This, I believe is one of the most complicated relationships you could have. Especially if you don't know how to play the game i.e. kissing-ass, back-stabbing, corporate politcs, etc... etc... etc.

4. Romantic - Now, this I know a little something-something about having years and years of experience. Defined in terms of the concepts of passion, intimacy and commitment, romantic relationships are often over-rated.

Generally speaking there are so many types of relationships. Boyfriend, girlfriend, cohabitation, domestic partnership, networking, or as Friendster/Facebook and so many other networking sites would define it, "It's Complicated."

So why the heck have relationships nowadays became harder and harder to define. Perhaps because so many of us have been influenced by the society to just become part of what they define relationships to be. We've accepted the fact that we are nothing more that just part of the norm.

Take me for example, I am a born-deep-to-the-core-love-crazed-hopeless romantic. And eventhough my heart has been trampled, squished, broken, torn into a million pieces, stepped-on, bulldozed, and thrown out the window, it has endured all of those only to be trampled, squished, broken, torn into a million pieces, stepped-on, bulldozed, and thrown out the window again.

I only wish that I begin looking at the bigger picture and keep an open mind about certain things. Things are changing, relationships are not the way it used to be. Back when our great-great-great grandparents were alive and relationships were sacred, it was easier (I think).

On the other hand, there are these very successful people, who seems to have everything but a committed relationship with someone. People who do not allow themselves to be confined on society's rules and regulations. The rebels. The independent women/men. The ridiculously successful entrepreneurs. People who don't see themselves tieing the knot and yet are perfectly fine having relationships with themselves. These are the people I should hang out with more often. Maybe if I do, I'd learn a few things from them.

***

But then again, there's always Puerto Galera. Let's get crazy. Let's go wild. I shan't think of all this relationship crap while there. Tomorrow will just be a crazy-crazy day! WOOOHOO!!

100 Questions You'd Love To Answer (Not really!)

Was tagged by my bestfriend in facebook. And since I can't access FB until after office hours, I decided to post it here in the meantime. Darn this is long! Enjoy!

1. Last beverage→ Sprite
2. Last phone call→ My Dad
3. Last text message→ My Dad.
4. Last song you listened to→ “I Will Survive” by Chantay Savage
5. Last time you cried→ Last Saturday, while watching Lord Of the Rings, Return of the King

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice? → Of course.
7. Been cheated on? → YES!!! (See, the 3 exclamation points!)
8. Been singing till dawn → Only during New Year or Birthdays where a Videoke/Kareoke is present.
9. Lost someone special?→ How special? Family, yes. Lover, YES!!!
10. Been depressed?→ Often that it’s depressing. HAHAHA!
11. Been overseas? → Most of the time.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. blue
13. brown
14. black

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (LET'S USE 2008 FOR THIS, YES?)
15. Made new friends → Yes.
16. Fallen out of love → Yes.
17. Laughed until you cried → Yes.
18. Met someone who changed you→ Hmmm, I guess.
19. Found out who your true friends were→ And disappointingly not that many.
20. Found out someone was talking about you→ Good or Bad? Doesn’t matter since it happened in both cases.
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list→ Kissed where?
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life→ Most of them, but some more than others.
23. How many kids do you want to have→ 1 is enough. Oops… I not-so-technically have one already. HEHEHE!!
24. Do you have any pets → None anymore.
25. Do you want to change your name → My full name, yes… my nickname, not so much, I grew fond of it.
26. What did you do for your last birthday→ Celebrated with friends and family.
27. What time did you wake up today → 9:00 am
28. What were you doing at midnight last night→ Watching Season 9 of ‘Friends’ in DVD.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for → Waiting for my true love to come. (NAKS!!!)
30. Last time you saw your father→ 2 days ago.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → Be straight (kidding!)
32. What are you listening to right now → Robin Thicke, “Complicated”
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → Tommy Meneses, yes.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now? → One of my colleagues, as he has always been ever so irritating, even just to look at. HEHEHE!
35.What’s your code name → Don’t have one, I think. Does BI-ATCH count? =P
36. Whats your real name → Noeliwanag D. Abelardo
37. Relationship Status → Single… for a year or so already.
38. Zodiac sign→ Capricorn
39. Male or female→ Male (Slut).
40. Natural Hair colour? → Yup… black.
41. Hair color now → Black, haven’t dyed my hair for so long.
42. Pet Peeve → OMG! SOOOOOOO MANY!
43. Need Glasses? → Yup but I often forget to wear them.
44. Long or short → LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG.
45. Height → 5'4”
46. Do you have a crush on someone? → Yup, L’Oreal Guy!
47. What do you like about yourself? → I can’t CHARM my way almost to everything.
48. Piercings → None, but would love to.
49. Tattoos → Yup, 1, but would love to have more!
50. Righty or lefty → Righty though I wish I could be ambidextrous.

FIRSTS :
51. First surgery → My forehead when I fell on the stairs as a kid.
52. First piercing → None.
53. First tattoo → Dolphin and moon on the ass-cheek.
54. First best friend → Liam Tugbo.
55. First sport you joined → Soccer.
56. First pet → A Japanese Spitz named Chona.
57. First vacation → HK with the family.
59. First crush→ A girl that I refuse to mention the name here. HAHA! That’s right I wasn’t always gay, contrary to popular belief.
60. First alcoholic drink→ Pale Pilson, my grandfather gave me one when I was seven as a joke.

RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating → Nope, having coffee though.
62. Wearing → (Semi) Office Attire.
63. I'm about to → Take another sip of my coffee and contemplating of going down for a ciggie break.
64. Speaking to → Myself.
65. Waiting to → Go home.

YOUR FUTURE :
66. Want kids? → Maybe.
67. Want to get married? → Only if it’s another guy.
68. Careers in mind? → Professional Photographer

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
69. Lips or eyes → Eyes.
70. Hugs or kisses → Both, equally the same.
71. Shorter or taller →Taller.
72. Older or Younger → Definitely older… but ask me again in 5 years, I may say younger by then.
73. Romantic or spontaneous → Both.
74. Nice stomach or nice arms → Both. (Please!)
75. Tattoos or piercings—> Tattoos.
76. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive.
77. Hook-up or relationship → Hook-up then have a relationship. Not ideal, but hey, it happens.
78. Trouble maker or hesitant→ Trouble maker but not too much!

HAVE YOU EVER :
79. Kissed a stranger → Of course.
80. Drank hard liquor →Yup.
81. Lost glasses/contacts → Yes, lots of times.
82. Sex on first date → Depends with whom.
83. Broken someone's heart →I think so...
84. Had your own heart broken → Ahhhhh, too many times.
85. Been arrested?→ Not really.
86. Turned someone down → Of course, with looks like this, it’s like a curse. HAHAHA!
87. Cried when someone died → I ain’t made of stone. I even cried at Aladdin. Yup, the cartoons… when Genie was set free. Again, not my proudest moment. HEHEHE!
88. Liked a friend that is a girl (change this depending on your sexual preference) → But I’m gay so I always like girls… AS FRIENDS!


DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself → Yeah, I guess so. =D
90. Miracles → Not really. I believe in FATE and DESTINY though.
91. Love at first sight → Yeah, with Vince(s). There were two of them. =P
92. Heaven → Yes. I sure hope I go there when I die.
93. Santa Claus → What am I 12? But yeah, I do. I think he represents something and not just a big fat guy in a red suit.
94. Kissing on the first date? → Sure.
95. Angels → Yes.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Hmmm.. yes.
97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → Yes, in my first gay relationship and I made ‘tuhog’ bestfriends. I will never do that again! Trust me!
98. Do you believe it’s possible to remain faithful forever?→ Possible, yeah but it requires hard work.
99. What's the one thing you cannot live without? → My Mom and Nat my bestfriend.
100. Posting this as 100 truth? → I don’t get the question. HEHEHE!

Open Relationship, Anyone?

It's been a very long time since V and I went to hang-out. And so last Friday we decided to go to Metrowalk to have dinner and a few drinks. Despite the fact that we work together we really rarely get to go out and just talk anymore.

"Usher would probably be the only not-so-goodlooking guy I would f*ck," she said.

"...Because he has a great body, I bet," I added.

"Yuhhhh!"

"I like Will Smith or Denzell Washington more. They have such gorgeous faces and yummy bodies," I said with such vigor.

"Oh yeah, did you know that Will and Jada Pinkett Smith has an open relationship. That's the reason why they lasted all these years."

"Really?! I didn't know that."

"Yeah, in this day and age, relationships can only last if you really keep an open mind about these things."

"Hmmmm, I don't think I am capable of such a thing. I'm still hopeless-romantic to the core."

"I know. That's why you've been single for sooooo long."

It got me thinking if all these are true. It's been so long since I've had a long term relationship and why is it becoming harder and harder to someone who will commit to a serious (and monogamous) relationship.


I once dated a guy who has been in 5 year relationship and it didn't work out for us. I wanted more in the relationship and he cannot give more. I wanted him for myself and he wanted me to share. We decided to be friends because it was just too complicated. Sad ain't it? You find love and love belonged to someone else. I figured the more you look for it, the more elusive it gets.

Why can't I be like one of those people who just finds love and keeps it. Regardless of how difficult it becomes, they remain together. I guess it's harder for gay relationships to work because as they say, "Men are naturally born promiscuous."

Really, what does it take to keep and sustain a meaningful relationship without anyone giving up their principles? Has the age of monogamy really passed? Is it now more practical to keep an open relationship and still be happy?

I've been single for more than a year now and while I am truly happy with the single life, I do miss the perks of being in a relationship.

I miss the first date, the magic in finding someone you would want to live the rest of your life with, the first kiss, the first cuddle, the long and amazing conversations, the birds chirping, the bells ringing, and fireworks. I want to fall in love again.

I know what you're thinking, and I know it'll come. But waiting's a pain and longing is a killer especially since you know people who've sustained their relationships for the longest time. Makes you wonder...

WHERE THE HELL ARE 'YOU' HIDING?!?!

Seriously! There's Really Something About Her Petchay! (I Touch Myself)

Good friend and I got to talking, and once again our topic was about her extremely amazing, semi-miraculous, and aphrodisiac-laced PETCHAY! (To those who don't know what I'm talking about, kindly read my first blog about this here.)

A lot has actually happened since I first wrote a blog about her petchay and still I am trying not to gag so much as I try and get through this one.

Isang Petchay sa Gubat

Fortunately this friend of mine and her much adored sexual partner seem to have the libido of rabbits, meaning they could go at it for hours and hours. The only difference is that she somehow doesn't get knocked-up. And believe me they would go at it for hours, screaming sexual pleasures and declaring heaven to the top of their lungs while having mind-blowing orgasms. Don't believe me? Ask the guards who seemingly welcome his arrival at her condo-apartment. Or the neighbors who probably can't even complain hearing them go at it just because it's also turning them on. DARN! What a pathetic sex life I have! At least compared to these two.

One time, she went out after they were done and found a guard loitering the corridors. He probably wished to join but didn't have the guts nor the size. HAHAHA!

Halika, Laro-Laro Tayo Sa Petchay Ko!

The story of my life. Being invited to watch and maybe even taste some of 'the adored sexual partner.' I even asked my friend if this guy had a gay twin brother, hoping that I would get some of her action.

But then, on one of those infamous nights where they were imitating rabbits again and I was having drinks with a friend in the area. I got an unexpected MMS. And I literally jumped off my seat and screamed upon seeing the Adonis of all birds. (FOCK! I sound like a 12-year old GIRL describing genitals---HAHAHAH! But I want to keep this entry as discreet as possible. Some of my family members might read it and I'd be in trouble.) Yes, there it was in all its cut glory. One of the most beautiful THANG I've ever seen. I LOOOOVEEEE having her petchay as my friend. I swear it does wonders for my gay life!

A couple of days later, we got into talking again and she mentioned that "Adonis' Bird" was open to the idea of being stroked or even being eaten by someone of the same sex so long as her petchay was lodged good and hard on his mouth. I think at that moment I shouted so loud that my gay-ness went inside and out. I nearly literally cartwheeled in front of her in extreme delight. But alas, my gay-ness was tested and I proved I'm gay-er than I even imagined. I could not go through with it. NOT because I didn't want to have a taste of it, but because I'd rather not see my friend naked and get a glimpse of that miracle petchay.

THAT and the fact that I didn't want to disappoint him having my friend set the expectation probably so high even for an extremely talented gay like me. I would just die if I didn't match or even surpass the way she gives. And I didn't want to take the risk losing my prized possession... my mouth!

***
"I really don't get what is it in there that could make them (not only him) want it so much," she said in utter mockery of my mouth.

"I don't know, but I guess since there is really a demand for it. There must really be something there."

"I don't know too. I was looking at it the other day trying to figure out but really couldn't."

"The hell! Did you ever think that the reason why they say your petchay is the most beautiful, most lustful, best tasting, smelling, looking, etc... etc... ever --- is that any petchay compared to yours looks like SQUAT!"

"Oh yeah, I never thought of that! Oh well," she said in complete confidence.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


***

I guess there's nothing left to do but sing...

I don't want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
ahh ohh i don't want anybody else
oh no oh on oh no yeah

I love myself
I want you to love me
When I feel down
I want you above me
I search myself
I want you to find me
I forget myself
I want you to remind me

I don't want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
ahh ohh i don't want anybody else
oh no oh no oh no

Hey! Cute Jeepney Guy!

Since I couldn't download my emails since this morning, let me just blog to blow some steam.

Last night I had one major ego boosting on the jeepney on my way home. I rode at Boni Station to get to my usual stop at P.Cruz. I almost missed the jeep that I had to run after it. Not only did I catch it I was lucky enough to be sitting in front of a very, very, VERRRY cute guy.

I noticed he was looking at me as if he knew me from somewhere. He came from the gym I assumed since he was sporting gym cloths and had a big knapsack. Either that or some basketball game of some sort. Nevertheless he was extremely good looking. He had this big round eyes, facial hairs, nice haircut and cuts at the right places.

He kept looking (staring) during the 20 minute ride to my place but I dared not look back. I can't even give him a simple smile as I was too embarrassed. If we were in a cartoon or movie or something, you'd probably see shooting stars, sparks and 'thinking balloons' above our heads. Hihihi!

Anyway, I got home smiling and my night only got better... until I woke up late the next morning.

Sigh! Back to reality... back to work!

Happy EDSA day everyone!

10 Things I'm Thankful For....

I've been stressing about how broke I am recently to my friends and I think it's starting to annoy the sh*t out of them. But yes, I find myself lacking a few extra thousand bucks from my usually thick 'man purse' (and by that I mean my wallet) these days that it's depressing. I'm soooo not used not having enough cash that I am getting depressed about it. This morning, instead of my usual Country Style Breakfast Combo, I've gone the wiser (and cheaper) by bringing a Lucky Me Chicken Noodle Soup to eat AND settled for my usual 3-in-1 Nescafe Coffee. What can I say, these are indeed hard times. HARD TIMES!!!

***

My trip to Uzbekistan got canceled. Apparently it was not safe for us to go there for now. I was kinda looking forward to this trip. I even Google-d the place and did some research especially on the weather. Well according to weather.com, it would usually go from 8 degrees Celsius to Zero! Wooohooo! That means snow! Never seen snow even when I was in England. I got to see the frost the morning after but that hardly counts. So I guess I have to wait again until I am given the opportunity to make my very own snow angel. Oh well... Maybe next time.

***

I've been thinking that since I've been dealing with such as crisis in my life right now, I should be counting my blessings instead of sulking on what God intended to be challenges to make me stronger. And so, I decided to come up with a list of 10 things I am grateful for. Here goes...

10. I am thankful that I still have a wonderful apartment to go home to and rest and live.

9. My work. Much as I have so many issues at work, I am still thankful that I have a decent enough job that pays for most of my bills. I love my boss and friends at the office and I do still enjoy traveling to new places.

8. Gadgets. My PlayStation, iPod, Ben (my Nikon D60), mobile phones, laptops, TV and DVD player, iPod speakers. These help me to survive!

7. Networking sites. Multiply, Facebook, Friendster, Flickr, Blogspot, and G4M. In this day and age it's amazing how it's almost impossible NOT to meet new friends or even hook-ups! Hahahaha!

6. My family! I love 'em! Very much!

5. FRIENDS DVD! I never, ever EVER go tired of watching them! I only wish all friends are like them! Well, at least most of my friends actually even surpass the criteria. Good for me, sucks for them! Kidding!

4. My addictions. Coffee. San Mig Light and Cigarettes. Life's simple joys that's slowly killing me. Need to quit! Need tooooo quit!

3. The gift of life. I know it sounds mushy... but I am thankful to be alive. You should too! I've experienced too many near death misses that I can only be thankful everyday!

2. My friends. Without them, I'd probably die!

1. LOVE! Yes, you heard it right, above all I believe in love. Love is like oxygen. Love lifts us up where we belong. All we need is love. I am and forever will be hopeless romantic. Deal with it! HAHAHA! =D And did I mention I'm single. 17 months and counting. Somebody (cum)come already!

V-Day Weekend Blahs

So, ask me how I spent my V-Day weekend and you might wonder why on this infamous day of days I decided to be with my one true love.

My love affair started around mid-December after I moved to my new apartment and found out that I didn't have much need for cable TV and that my DVD player was lonely.

"Silver with touches of black and I love it!"

I was thinking if I should just get a new one or if a second hand would do. But I decided I want nothing but the best so I got the new one. I remember during the first few times we were together, we used to spend hours and hours playing, sleepless nights, and often I'd even skip meals just to be with him.

Yes, dear friends, I'm in-love and I know I'm loved back. The vibration said it all. I even replaced some hot action and drinking sessions with friends all because I just had to go home and we needed to be together.

Ahhh, my PlayStation 2.

What more could I say but, Valentines-Shmilentines, it's just another day. I still had fun last weekend, with every click, jump, push, block, run, walk, roll and vibration. The loooooong night was worth it. It sucks to be single, it really does but 'Friends' DVD Marathon and Sony PlayStation 2 makes it bearable somehow, dunchathink?